*cloudy(s) thoughts*

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Summer smell

Don't you think the air smells totally different during summer time? I love that smell. And I like the little surprise when I go outside out of my cold apartment and the air is actually warmer outside than inside.
This morning I had to get up quite early and took the bus at 7.15 am. When I walked to the bus station it was just wonderful - the sun shining, a calm atmosphere, as if everything was just waking up. And I took a deep breath of that unique summer smell and thought to myself "How much better can it get?"
2.5.05 21:41


Teaching

Until now I have not experienced a bad situation while teaching. Actually that's a good thing, but I'm just afraid it will all come down on me while doing the "Referendariat" (traineeship for teachers?).
Today I taught a lesson in Mathematics in a grade 9 class (together with another student from my university). And it was good!
While still studying "pure maths" those kind of students were one of the reasons why I didn't want to become a teacher. I was always thinking about 15 year old girls and boys not caring about maths at all, actually not caring about anything in the world than parties, cigarettes, alcohol, boy- and girlfriends... Just sitting in the classroom waiting for the lesson to be over. And I didn't feel confident to motivate them.

But I experienced a totally different situation today. These students were all excited about their little "research project" which we gave them to do. Ok, one of the reasons might also be that we went with them in the computer room (which doesnt happen so often) and introduced a program to them which they didn't know before.
But still, it was again a nice experience and I'm once more glad I changed my field of studying.
4.5.05 20:55


unproductive

I don't like these days when I'm being very unproductive. It was a public holiday today in Germany, so an excellent day to do all my seminar papers. But no, I've been sitting at my desk basically the whole day (ok, with an exception when lying on my bed and reading... "Illuminati" (german title) or "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown... I love it!), working every once in while, but not very effectively. Then I'm mad at myself because instead I could have done other things way more fun than spending a day at home. Especially because the sun was shining the whole afternoon.
But these kind of days have been quite rare, luckily I've become a fairly concentrated and motivated student.
5.5.05 20:42


"Thump"

That's the noise my brain made today when coming back to reality. What did I write a few days ago? Never had a bad experience while teaching? Well, there it was today.
My colleague and I had planned this wonderful lesson together, with teach-teaching, powerpoint presentation and so on. I was all excited about it and was looking forward to this morning. But the lesson went into a different direction. The powerpoint presentation made them all stay in a lethargic position (ok, quite understandable considering it was 7.50 am), leaned back, just listening what great stories (?!) we have to tell them.
Then in the group work they didn't understand their task, just sat there doing nothing, wondering what fuzz we were making there up front.
Oh well.
Fortunately we have the next two lessons to make up for the one today. But - fortunately? Actually I have a lot of other things to do right now besides preparing the lessons. There are four seminar talks coming up...

Saturday we had a basketball game, and we scored a lot of points for once: 73! Just too bad that the other team got two more... It was a really brutal game, my arms and legs are quite bruised, and I was in such a bad mood afterwards. I'm not saying I'm a bad looser - which I am, actually - but what annoyed me most was the unfairness with which we played, both teams. But that game was off-season (by the way, we are champion of the last season!), so it's ok.
Afterwards I took a bath and visited my parents over the weekend, which was really nice. It's a rare thing to happen these days, because I never really have time off during the weekend because I need to do all these assignments and talks. And I know that when I'm at home I don't do anything, I just relax. Though I always take my university stuff with me and think "ok, this time I'm gonna work at least a bit". Yeah right.
9.5.05 19:54


Aging

I feel old. Because my body aches. I just came back from basketball practice and I feel like a wreck. My back is sore, my knees hurt and my foot is still bugging me. And the worst thing is - it wasn't even fun today. I don't know why, but for some reason basketball really puts me in a bad, bad mood at the moment. Actually, yes, I know a reason. Since my lack of practice during the last weeks (after my injury I had to take a break for 6 weeks, then we didn't practice so much) I am a bit out of practice. So I'm not as good as I wish to be, and I get mad at myself if I don't get the easy hoops in. Yep, that's it.

Tomorrow we're holding our last lesson in the school - the one on wednesday was quite alright again. I'm glad when it's over somehow - it was a lot of extra time this week that I spent on preparing the lessons...

And on sunday mr. r is taking me out for dinner My birthday present.
12.5.05 21:53


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